At the end
by Destiney Hope
Summary: Set right after season two . Ahito dies of his ilness and Thran has to go on alone ,who will be there at the end


**at the end **

**Disclaimer:i don't own this and make no money out of any of it I do this purely for the fun of it and any complaints you have will be handled soon enough . this is classified as freedom of speech so if you don't like don't read and if you try to sue me i will tell the court the same thing.**

**this was one of those ideas that came up when i was doing something completely different and it wouldn't go away so i'm writing it .And I've used personal experience with death to help and stuff (i don't have a twin but how cool would that be *thinks about a world with twin D~H s* *evil laugh*)**

**And If anyone so much as tries to flame me I will get my lawyer on you ,oh wait I'm my own laywer so i'll get you ! am i clear !!!!?**

**Thran p.o.v.**

We had won the cup for the second time ,everything should be great, right?

No ,wrong .

We got off the pitch still all crazy about winning again ,Micro-ice jumping around like an idiot that sort of thing .

Its my fault ,I should have been paying attention , I knew he was ill but I was too happy to be paying attention ,It wasn't until he hit the ground that i finally remembered but by then it was basically too late .

Simbai took him away to do some kind of emergency surgery and I sat on one of the benches waiting ,it seemed to be taking forever but eventually Simbai came out of the room her face composed I couldn't tell what had happened .

"Thran " she said "Thran i'm so sorry " and her eyes welled up with tears and spilled over .I think my heart stopped for a second then started hammering overtime ,It couldn't be true ,she had to be lying ,it was a joke ,right ,Ahito couldn't be dead ,it just wasn't possible ,It was AHITO he always got through everything no matter what . What kind of fucked up god would do this ? Take away a life of someone so young

I sat there to stunned to speak ,to move ,I had to breathe to stay alive but is that what i wanted to be ,alive .That was one of the many questions I couldn't answer .

"Do you want to say goodbye?" Simbai choked out tears running down her face and it took all I had to not cry .

I was dimly aware that I was nodding and then rising to my feet . Simbai lead me down the hall towards the room she had taken Ahito earlier .

Inside the room she lead me over to where Ahito was lying . I didn't want to look the pain would be horriffic but I had to say goodbye ,I owed Ahito that much .

The second I looked down at my little brother it was as if half of my soul was ripped from my body . It was like half of me had died with him and suddenly i couldn't feel anything but this dull throbbing sensation that just seemed to be getting worse with every second that passed .

" was there any pain " I managed to say

" No" Simbai said " The anaesthetic hadn't even worn off there was no pain he just didn't wake up "

Those words were a relief at least . I looked down at him again. He was so pale , bone white ,the circles under his eyes had disappeared his expression was utter calm and it was just too much for me .

Before i knew it I had turned away from Ahito and was sprinting towards the door ,I had to get out it was just too much . Forget me being the calm smart one I had to get out or i was going to lose it right there on the spot .

In a matter of seconds I was half way down the hall ,sprinting as far away as I could possibly get .Some thing got in my way , something small ,it was probably Micro-ice but I didn't stop to help him when I knocked him flying I just kept on going ,I had to think but where would i go on Genesis Stadium that reporters wouldn't be .

Genesis Forest thats where .

I sort of went on a rampage through the forest ,some trees have lost a few branches, the flower beds are trampled and the pond is full of the branches that came off of the trees and I dont think one of the fans is going to be working for a while . It helped a little ,I was finally able to think about something other than the pain that throbbed through me harder with every passing second . But the image of him in that bed pale and unmoving ,gone forever was still burned into my eyes and every time they were shut I could see him in every detail as real as if he were right in front of me . That expression of utter calm ,bone pale skin unmoving ,unreal as if he was a life size wax dummy .

I ended up sitting with my back against a tree staring out over the tree branch infested pond pond without really seeing it just thinking about everything that had happened and how I could have stopped it .The biggest part being ,Not to have listened to him and to have stopped him playing when he passed out before the semi-finals .But I didn't and now he's gone .The worst part ,I realised, is that it was my fault this time and no one was going to blame me ,they had no problem blaming me for things that had happened in the past to him but this they would put down as some freak accident,because they didn't know about just before the semi-finals when he collapsed and asked me not to tell anyone . If they knew that things would be different .

"Why did you do this to me?" I said out loud not that anyone was there to hear me. Of course there was no answer . My head felt oddly empty ,of course since Ahito was dead so was all that telepathy stuff that came at weird moments but did help sometimes .The world around me became blurry as the tears that I had held in this long came streaming out .

How long did I sit there sobbing ? An Hour ?A year ? I couldn't have cared less if I'd tried . I only know I sobbed until my ribs ached , my eyes were red raw and even drawing breath was hard .Finally I stopped crying and tried to get myself together . Once I was sure I could face other people without breaking down again I went back to the hotel ,with every intention of going into my room and hiding there for the rest of eternity .

But no such luck ,the second I walked out of the elevator onto our floor I was surrounded and all those apologies and questions started . No one blamed me for what had happened as I had thought .

" are you ok ?" was one of those questions ,Mark asked it ,what an idiot ,I didn't know how to reply to that what was I meant to say ? I mean when people ask that they usually get an " I'm fine" back . So that's how i answered

"I'm fine" i said but the weird thing is it came out with no emotion ,no nothing, I sounded dead. It wasn't long after that question that i made my escape to my room and bed . But I have to admit that wasn't much better than being annoyed by the rest of the Snow Kids because when I was on my own I had time to think and that hurt more than the stupidly obvious questions.

Some hours later ,I don't know the exact time ,who cares? Yuki came in she had probably been crying all day .

"Are you ok?" She asked and then flinched when I glared at her .

" You know the next person who asks me that is going to get a big surprise when I actually tell them , 'not I'm not ok my brother is dead how can i possibly be ok when each day is going to be a constant struggle between my parents grief and my own ,trying not to let anything show for fear of upsetting them ,so i can safely say I am not OK"

" I know ...." She started but didn't have the chance to finish because she'd just been pushed out of my room and the door had been shut on her annoying face. How could she possibly know ? She didn't have a twin that she'd spent every moment of her life with ,She wasn't the one who was responsible for his death . She wasn't the one who had to live with that fact for the rest of her life . I was ,she didn't know _anything_ ! nobody knew ,nobody would ever know!

My bedside lamp got launched across the room hitting Ahito's bedside table causing the door on the cabinet part to spring open and a bunch of stuff fell out ,including a battered old teddy bear.

A teddy bear who's name escapes me" ... boggles no........ buggles that's not right .................Biggles that's closer " I went through every name i could until i got the right one "Bigglesworth! Mr. Bigglesworth" **(A/N : dont own it its the name of Dr Evils cat in Austin Powers) **

It was a stupid name but hey we were four when we got them ,I'm pretty sure i've got mine somewhere ,but defiantly not on Genesis stadium probably under my bed gathering dust under, my bed at home on Akillian, not here . I don't know what Ahitos attachment to this stupid bear was but he always had it close for "comfort reasons" as he'd put it when I'd caught him sneaking it into his suitcase

**Flashback (normal pov)**

_"whats this ??" Thran asked as he pulled the old teddy bear out of the suitcase _

_"Nothing" Ahito said and Thran raised hs eyebrows " " Ahito finally said _

_"why are you bringing this old thing?" Thran asked then he put on a lisp and baby voice" Is wittle Ahito afwaid of the big stadium ?" _

_He'd got a shove for that and a "No i'm taking it just for comfort reasons "_

**End flashback (Thran pov)**

I'm looking at this stupid bear and suddenly I want _mine, _that stupid bear that i tried so may times to destroy but it never worked.

I don't know why but suddenly i'm hugging Ahito's teddy bear and trying to hold in a fresh wave of tears ......................and ultimately failing .He's gone .And why did he like this bear ?

**.............................................................................................**

I woke up and as usual the throbbing set in the second my eyes were open. At least when I'm asleep the pain is dulled and i can sort of forget about it but when I wake up it's as if I have to lose him all over again .

The reason I'm up at 2:30 am ? Nightmare ,I'm getting really good at having them now .Usually Ahito's the one having the nightmares ,really bad ones ,like the one just before the finals against the Xenons .

It took me an hour and a half to calm him down enough to get him to talk to me about it and even then I didn't understand why it had freaked him out so much ,it just sounded so stupid to me but that was because I didn't understand .

**Flashback (normal pov) **

_**" **__I was walking towards the team and they just didn't seem to be getting any closer and then all of a sudden everything went black and i was just walking for eternity"_

_" Is that it?" Thran asked " You woke me up at 2;30 in the morning for that ????!!!"_

**End Flashback (thran pov) **

But I get it now ,oh I get it . I'm having the same dream minus the team just ,Ahito at the end of the corridor and then him fading away into blackness and then everything turning black and thats it ,it seems so stupid to think about but its really scary when your having the dream .

Thats not the only dream I'm having ,I'm so lucky (Not) there are two others ,one i can safely call a nightmare the other, I have no idea what that is .

The "nightmare" is just Ahito telling me that i failed to protect him .

_"you couldn't protect me and now I'm gone ,you killed me"_

I always ask the same question ....

_"how did I kill you?" _

He always answers ,the same answer ...

_"you let me play .Anyone else would have had enough sense to stop me ,to tell me that I could die by playing ,but no you had to give me what I wanted. You caved ,you always cave and now I'm dead and you have to deal with it. You failed me ,deal with it" _

And it goes on like that . The other dream is a different story ,I don't know if I can even call it a nightmare . It's just Ahito telling me what everyone else has told me .

_"It's not your fault,you know . There is no way you could have predicted the outcome ,you are the smart one but even you are'nt that good. You couldn't have stopped it even if you'd wanted to" _

In some ways that dream is worse than the nightmares because it's what I already know ,what I've been told at any rate . I still blame myself , but I'm the only one who thinks it was my fault .The rest have put it down as shock and greif, They think it'll wont .

Mark is the most annoying person in the _universe _no doubt about it . He thought it would be nice to try and cheer me up by joking about Ahito dying ,by saying "At least now you don't have to share everything !" What an idiot . I stood up and punched him so hard in the mouth two of his teeth fell out . The good thing is everyone else was on my side and Mark may lose some more teeth in the near future because of it . like i said he's the most annoying person in the universe no doubt about it.

.........................................................................................................................................

Once again I'm awake way into the night not able to sleep . I'm sitting on the balcony on the top floor of the hotel the the darkness only broken by the lamp posts lights and the car headlights, but soon the cars stopped coming and everything was still . A baby cried somewhere below me but apart from that everything was quiet and I realised how easy it would be to jump from the balcony ,to end it all ,all the pain ,the tears, everything ,just to end it all ,it sounds so good and it would be so easy ,it may even look like an accident or just plain stupid ,but I don't expect anyone else to understand the deep inner connection that all twins have .

Just as I'm standing up on the railings ready to jump a voice exploded in my head

_"Are you crazy ? WELL ARE YOU?" _Ahito's voice said from behind me . I turned to look at the chair and saw Ahito sitting there ,well a ghost Ahito . Ghosts are different in real life than in movies,Ahito was in colour but I could still see right through him to the back of the chair .

"Ahito?" I asked thinking this had to be a cruel trick of my imagination

_"What do you think your doing ?" _he asked obviously unimpressed

" Obviously the wrong thing "

_" Yeah how can you even think about jumping ?!"_

" it just seems so easy" I said "I'm going crazy " that was obvious i mean I was standing on a balcony railing conversing with my dead brother. I looked again at the chair and it was empty and I turned again to jump and saw Ahito floating right in front of me arms folded and unimpressed expression on his ghostly face

_"yeah but do you really want to put our parents through that ,losing another child ?"_

" I wasn't ...." I began but Ahito cut across me

_"...Thinking . That was obvious , and I though you were the smart one "_

" But it's just so hard "

_"then maybe you should wake up Thran.........Thran...........Thran"_

The world started to vibrate and suddenly I was falling down.. down,down .........

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

" Thran!" Dame Simbai said shaking me again and this time I opened my eyes and had to squint because of the light in the hall

" He's ok " She said " you can see him now

A dream just a dream relief washed through me and I just about ran down the corridor the the medical room just to make sure he really was alive

Ahito just smiled as I burst through the door and just about jumped the nine feet between us till I was sitting on the chair next to his bed .He tried to sit up and winced but kept going till he could hug me.

"Your OK" I said

" Yeah ,I'm OK ,every inch of me hurts but I'll get through it "

" Good" I said smiling

" why, did you really think I was going to die "

" No " i lied

" good for you ,because I did "

"What?"

" I thought I was going to die ,even now It's uncertain if I'll live "

" we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" I said calmly but inside I was freaking out but I didn't show it ,it ouldn't do Ahito any good to see me worried about it . I'm supposed to be the calmer older brother looking after my little brother with all the power I possessed , I had promised him that years ago when we were seven and he'd almost died .

"Your right" He said and then he yawned

" I'll let you sleep " I said and got up to go

" Don't go " he said and so I sat back down " I feel safer with you here you never let anything bad happen to me "

Its not true and I was about to point it out to him but hew spoke before I could .

"am I going to die?"

"No I wont let it happen" I said and he smiled at me and before falling asleep he mumbled

"i feel better now ,knowing that your watching out for me"

I must admit I felt better too at least he was ok for now because at the end of the day thats what counted .There is no point worrying about the future when there is so much to be done now .

"Live today take tomorrow as it comes" , someone told me that a long time ago i just cant remember who it was but they were right

**Ok so pretty crappy ending but hey I couldn't keep Ahito dead that is just impossible and just for my friends there is a little Mark bashing !**


End file.
